Hair on Head

Woman who has straight hair wants curly hair;

Woman who has curly hair wants straight hair;

But men are simple. They want only hair on head.

Cheque

Ramesh: Servant, you worked very hard. Here is the bonus for this year.

Servant: Thank you Sir. You forgot to sign the cheque.

Ramesh: Keep this cheque with you. If you work hard in this year then I will sign in.

Servant shocks. Ramesh Rocks.

Highlights

Ramesh: For yesterday’s cricket match, I kept Rs. 500 for betting and lost Rs. 1000.

Suresh: What? You spent only Rs. 500 na, how you lost Rs. 1000?

Ramesh: Today morning, I kept another 500 for highlights.

How is your family?

Suresh called Ramesh and told that the results are released. Ramesh cut the call and texted Suresh like this.

If I failed in one subject, send me, “How are you?”

If I failed in two subjects, send me, “How are you and your sister?”

If I failed in three subjects, send me, “How are you, your sister and mother?”

…………

After sometime, Ramesh received the SMS. It is “How is your family”?

All cards are accepted

Ramesh after having belly full of dinner went to the cash counter to pay the bill. He gave his Aadhar card.

Cashier asked him, why you gave Aadhar card?

Ramesh: It is clearly written that, “All cards are accepted”. So I’m giving it.

Cashier shocked.

Which End

Teacher ordered Ramesh to bring his parents to school.

Ramesh: Dad, teacher told me to bring you to school.

Dad: What you did?

Teacher was angry on me and told me to stand. By showing her stick she told, “Idiot is standing at the end of the stick.”

I asked which end.

Pilot

Ramesh was travelling in a flight. He went to see pilot. Suddenly Ramesh took the head phones from the pilot.

Pilot: What the hell?

Ramesh: You pilot! First drive carefully, later you can hear the songs.